| 'm sry. |
oh my STARS does anyone else feel like winter is this endless cave from which we will NEVER EMERGE AND SOMEONE IS GOING TO EAT SOMEONE ELSE?
ME NEITHER.
Sorry about that. I have the winter crankies.
Here's a story. So somehow, at work, my pager broke. (I don't have a good track record for these things- please see this for evidence) Everyone told me to go down to telecomm and exchange it for a working one. I did. A week later, I get an angry email from the department administrator, cc'ing absolutely everyone in our department including people she must have invented because I have never ever heard of them, publicly chastising me for going over her head and who do I think I am and OBVIOUSLY EQUIPMENT EXCHANGES MUST GO THROUGH HER, and I can't just go around doing whatever I want. Because yes, that is how I get my jollies (or "get my rocks off," as they say on law and order). I like to just exchange broken equipment willy nilly, procedure be damned. Sometimes when I'm feeling SUPER naughty, I unjam the printer myself instead of calling tech support. I am a jerk like that.
wow, lady. excuse me for living. so I had to write back, cc'ing the same listserve of names she took from her madame alexander doll collection at home, saying "Sorry, my bad! I didn't realize what I'd done was wrong and i will never ever ever ever ever do it again."
I thought that that would be enough penance for now. I mean, I restrained myself from writing back "Why do you overreact so, like a crazy person? Were you born with a genetic defect instilling in you a lack of perspective? How upsetting! File for disability and QUIT YELLING AT ME!" And to exercise that much restraint is pretty great, right?
Not enough, as it turns out. She replied back saying that I have to, no joke, carry my pager over to her office, hand it to her, and she will hand it back to me. I guess she has to write down a number or something and I can't just tell her that number because I'm that unreliably lying bitch who exchanged my pager by myself in the first place, so god knows what I'd report as the pager number. Probably, the number would be, like 34, and I'd tell her it was 43 or something because THAT IS SO FUN FOR ME.
So that's what I have to do tomorrow. Walk over to her desk and hand her my pager. And say sorry. over and over. Isn't that dumb?
Anyway, when the kids I used to nanny for would fight with each other, sometimes it would be just too too hard for them to apologize. I remember being that age, and being too angry to say I'm sorry, but still knowing I should apologize so the world could start moving again. So I would let them make "i'm sorry" letters for each other. We would usually deliver them in some fun way- hiding them under a pillow, wrapping them in a box like a present, or flying them down the stairs after they'd been folded into a paper airplane.
i am too mad to actually apologize to this lady for violating a silly rule, so I made her this I'm sorry JPEG. you might have to click to enlarge the image, but the sentiments can't be enlarged any further.
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| 12 Comments: |
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I'm reminded of a line from The Office. Dwight has been given the task of making the schedule and decides to make Jim work on the weekend. Jim says, "God, this is so sad, this is the smallest amount of power I've ever seen go to someone's head." Is there a female version of being a tool? Toolie? Toolette? Toolina? I think you should tell her your medication makes you do crazy things and then stand at her desk twitching or something. I know -- can you develop Tourette's by morning?
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Take a bouquet of stink weed mixed with long stems from roses as an apology. Technically it is a bouquet and speaks volumes.
Also, you must have been the coolest nanny ever.
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I love your note! I think you should give it to her, along with a picture of a cat just so there's no further confusion.
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Nice boobs.
Also I've been known to fold break-up letters into paper airplanes and fly them down the stairs to women.
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Listen you bitch,
I follow your stupid little blog. You dare mock me - ADMINISTRATOR OF PAGERS?
If you ever Ever EVER break your pager again don't you DARE come to me with your pathetic little whiny excuses, WILLY NILLY REQUESTS to repair broken equipment, and make-believe control numbers (our codes aren't TWO numbers it's a complicated ALPHANUMERIC code! That means letters AND numbers).
From,
the department administrator who has also cc'd absolutely everyone in your department including people I just invented because you have never ever heard of them.
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maxie- tool is gender neutral, no?
GWCH- i was only a medium nanny. for example, when the little girl cut her own bangs, I clapped.
brite- perhaps i will wrap it around the pager and do it your way.
pdw- liar.
oh dept administrator, I am heartily sorry for having offended thee, but also heartily flattered that thou choosest to appoint time to the reading of this humble blogge.
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you're a riot. also, I'm still here, but I've been waiting to read your posts until I have time to really sit down with them but I haven't found that time so I'm just staring at 4 unread posts of yours.
I miss you and I love you and I'm glad to see you are blogging again!
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Nice boobs....and princess hair. (Is this creepy?)
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Lora- i love you too!
cait- there is no way you can be creepier than the girl who draws a stick figure with gigantomastia and claims it to be herself.
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Meg I might have to borrow this pseudo-apology letter thingy someday.. I come from a country that invented useless bureaucracy and live in one that has perfected it.. I might have to shrink the boobs to be anatomically correct in my case, but only just a bit.
cheers
m.
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BAHAHAHAH: "the same listserve of names she took from her madame alexander doll collection at home.
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Ah, this post amused me no end. Therefore, you have just found your latest follower...
That's me! You know, in case that wasn't apparent... Ahem, I'm just gonna go this way.
Kate x
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Name: A Lover and a Fighter
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I'm reminded of a line from The Office. Dwight has been given the task of making the schedule and decides to make Jim work on the weekend. Jim says, "God, this is so sad, this is the smallest amount of power I've ever seen go to someone's head." Is there a female version of being a tool? Toolie? Toolette? Toolina? I think you should tell her your medication makes you do crazy things and then stand at her desk twitching or something. I know -- can you develop Tourette's by morning?