| Uh oh, someone got her all riled up... |
MAMA IS A LITTLE PISSED OFF.
I am at a Panera right now, studying like I do, and I'm going to go ahead and admit that I just had a very real argument in very public place with very strange strangers.
Let me recap, mostly because I'm just so incredibly pissed and need to tell someone. I know I joke a lot about how my life is really a tv show (candid camera) but that's mostly okay with me because at least it isn't boring, but I just had this experience that was redolent of a goddamned after school special and it REALLY TICKED ME OFF.
So. Like I said. I am studying.
And this group of 5 women out to a girlie lunch together sat down at the long table kittycornered (catty corner? what the hell is this phrase? whatever, I don't give a damn) from where I have set up camp. And at first, I thought they were cute. "Oh, cute," I thought. "Old girlfriends out to lunch. Awww. I miss my friends." That kind of thing.
Then they start talking and they're a little loud and annoying and their conversation, which I can't help but overhear, happens to be less than stimulating, but whatever. I'm not at a library. They can talk if they want, right?
Right.
So then, they start fussing about wow, hope their car doesn't get stolen. And they have a person get up every five minutes to check on their ride, and to make sure it is still there, and ultimately one lady just rearranges her chair so she can keep an eye on the car at all times. Out of curiosity I got up and refilled my coffee so I could see how fancy this car was that they were so convinced was going to be taken from the Panera parking lot in broad daylight. There were three minivans parked in a row visible from where the sentinel lady was stationed, and I smiled a bit, realizing that if these ladies were concerned about the potential theft of their minivan then they must be from some small town, here on touristy business. Precious.
And then I hear this.
"Well. Did you hear that they've had to put some extra security guards at blah blah department store? Lots of shoplifting there lately. And you can't tell me it's not related to all the blacks that moved in up there. That neighborhood has gotten real dark."
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What. the FUCK. did you just say. IN MY PANERA????
I couldn't help it. I rolled my eyes so hard they almost fell out of my head. One lady, the one I liked the least, happened to see it. She said "Oh, I'm so SORRY. Is our private conversation BORING you?"
"No, not at all," I replied. "It's just that stupid women make me really sad, you know?" And then I smiled and turned back to my work.
They all gasped. And the same woman said "This is NONE of your BUSINESS." And I said "i also wish it wasn't my business but you ladies aren't exactly whispering. And believe it or not, we all preferred your 40 minute conversation about who should have gotten a pickle with their sandwich to your racist bullshit shoplifting theories."
I also should mention at this point that at least 2 of these women were fond of that subtle trick wherein you whisper-scream BLACK sotto vocce (redundant) because, and i don't know if you're familiar with this theory, if a tree falls in the forest and nobody hears it you're still A BIG FAT FUCKING BIGOT, ASSHOLE.
So another lady turns to me and says "I think you should mind your own business when we are talking about our town," or some shit like that. I can't exactly remember but it was along those lines. And I said "I'd be glad to dear, but just for future reference, they're black, not deaf, and you are not fooling anyone." And two of the three black families sitting within earshot of this conversation started to smile.
The ladies gathered up their half eaten cookies and waddled off in a huff, saying something about how they didn't have to take this and "We are not going to let her ruin our tour of the brewery."
I wanted to get up and shout after them "VAN STILL THERE? WOW, IT IS? WHAT A COMPLETE FUCKING SURPRISE!!!" but I managed to restrain myself.
Anyway, when I get upset or confrontational, I don't cry, but I get the shakes pretty badly. So I was sitting in my chair, trembling away and blushing and being angry, and fortunately my friend Bonnie "tits" McGee was online. We chatted for a while and she, in true best-girlfriend fashion, calmed me down and made me see the humor in all of it.
It's embarrassing though, isn't it? That there are enough people who still find that kind of conversation socially acceptable that you can have an entire friend group full of the unenlightened?
I really try to make it a practice to avoid being rude to strangers. I was raised to hold doors, say ma'am and sir, and treat everyone with respect. But if you're bound and determined to be an ugly bigoted motherfucker in a holiday sweater that would render the baby jesus blind with its heinousness then I cannot be held responsible for my actions.
sigh. |
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| 30 Comments: |
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Yup, I love you. That is all.
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I am, for the second time this week, so very proud. For very different reasons.
[fist bump]
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I want to be you when I grow up. In fact, I want everyone to be you when they grow up!
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that was awesome. It may not change them into people who should be allowed out in public, but maybe it will change them into people who can occasionally behave themselves when out in public. That is just crazy ridiculous behavior!
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ugh, thanks guys. I don't feel like it will make anyone change anything but I do sometimes think people need to be made aware of themselves. Like how sometimes strangers say to me "excuse me, but I think you sat in something because there's something all over your pants," I really appreciate it- i just need that little check in...
Whatever. They're absurd and I hope someone pours a beer in their purse/s at the brewery tour.
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Following lots of others, but still, I just fell in love with you a little. No, a lot.
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I've been reading your blog for quite while now, (A year at the very least) and although I LOVE your previous writing and stories, I can honestly say that THIS is one of your best posts yet! I can't stand racially ignorant people; I have ZERO tolerance for that kind of bullshit. I'm SO glad you said something, because CLEARLY it needed to be said. Kudos to you!
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Meg, like Lainey, I too want to be you when I grow up.
For the record, I would have done the exact same thing. (I do not know if that is grammatically correct.) I am intolerant of bigotry, blatant rudeness, and general not acting right. I've been known to engage in arguments with fellow patients in waiting rooms, shoppers who are mean to cashiers for no reason, and patrons who treat waitstaff like shit when they are receiving good service.
It's one of the reasons my sister refuses to go out with me in public. Well done, miss. I'd hug you but my arms aren't that long.
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I've been stalking (or reading, rather. I don't have binoculars) your blog for a while, but I feel I must comment here:
You WIN. If only the world had more of your sort of people and less of theirs.
Thank you for being awesome and for standing up to bigots.
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Hi Meg,
You win. You already know I love you, but this is just another reason to love you. I would try to do things like you did there, but I ain't so quick witted as you.
Couple things: What has America come to? Also, why is she called Tits McGee and do you have any proof of the reason that you can share?
Thanks for putting the mar back in Wal Mart.
~ Piney
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Meg - we wanted to apologize en masse. Though we realized we were fat, we didn't realize until we encountered you in Panera that we were also racists. It was a shock to us, so we went back to Cathy's and did a group conscience and faced up to the facts. So again, sorry about that whole racist thing. See you at Panera, maybe you could join our klatch!
~ The Five Fat Ladies
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I whooped out loud in my living room! Good for you (but also - ugh)
I've had to say those same things to my own grandparents at various points in my life. double-ugh. And then one time I had to tell an acquaintance that Catholics do not believe the Pope is Jesus...just sayin'.
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You are awesome. I wish i had gumption like you but most likely, i'd just pee my pants before the ladies eat me for brunch.
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ROCK ON. Seriously, you are my hero.
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i got a text message from my sister about this post; "meg meg rhymes with egg is fucking awesome."
i totally agree. good for you.
sunshine and puppies,
jennifer
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I thought you were going to say you looked over at the minivans and there were children and/or dogs locked in them, but the story turned out even worse. I am ashamed for them, proud of you.
Also, I wish I had a friend named Bonnie "tits" McGee.
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I love how you handled it.
I hate that the situation occurred at all.
If I had been sitting with you, I would have poked you in the ribs with a pen until you yelled out the van comment.
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"It's just that stupid women make me really sad, you know?"
ZING!!
Attagirl Meg! I'm going to use this story as an example the next time somebody tries justifying racial stereotyping or somesuch bullshit. Way to go!
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Totally true, you are the awesomest.
The few times I've been in similar situations, I get totally tongue tied. I get stuck in this cycle:
There is so much I need to say to you ... But you won't understand it because your brain is broken ... Hence you are saying moronic things ... which is why there is so much I need to say to you ... and it goes on from there until my eyes hurt from all the glaring.
Anyway, I love how you are using your considerable powers for good. Go Meg!
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oh gosh, you guys are WAY too kind. I'm sure i was much more flustered and bumbling and crazy-looking than I made myself seem. But you all make me feel so much better. I wish we had all been in that panera at the same time. That would have been quite the smackdown, no?
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Did you ever know that you're my hero???? Seriously. Rock ON.
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"I wanted to get up and shout after them "VAN STILL THERE? WOW, IT IS? WHAT A COMPLETE FUCKING SURPRISE!!!" but I managed to restrain myself."
That cracked me up. And I wish you had said it because that is hilarious. And usually I can't find anything hilarious in a story about racists. You did good, Meg, you did good.
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Never stop doing what you do (being funny, principled, just darned out there.)
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You're kind of my hero right now, FYI.
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UGH.
I work in a restaurant that's practically on the Harvard campus, so I have learned to basically gag myself to keep from talking back to some of the clueless, wealthy bigots who come in on a daily basis. Just yesterday a mother and son whose chanel/rolex/blowout/black-card combo screamed MONEY!!! came in after their Harvard interview and were upset that you have to order at the counter for our lunch service. Despite our kindest and most sincere efforts to guide them through the incredibly complicated process of ORDERING YOUR DAMN SANDWICH AT THE COUNTER AND THEN SITTING DOWN WHILE WE BRING EVERYTHING TO YOUR TABLE, the mother got super huffy, turned to the son, and said "it's okay dear, we're better than them anyway."
It was my second to last shift before I leave food service for good, so I was real tempted to sass back. I didn't, and in exchange they left a table overflowing with trash and no tip.
Some people's children.
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I was totally loving this story, and was thinking it sounded exactly like some things I've done that have made my daughter proud of me and scared to be out in public with me - and then I got to this part:
"ugly bigoted motherfucker in a holiday sweater that would render the baby jesus blind with its heinousness"
...and then coffee came out my nose. Truly, that phrase should have been the title of this post.
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Name: A Lover and a Fighter
Home: New York, NY
About Me: "It is a very sad thing that nowadays there is so little useless information."
-Oscar Wilde
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Yup, I love you. That is all.