| It's hard times up in here |
You all deserve a post but I am studying for two big awful exams next week, so I'm posting this crap that I also posted on facebook.
What?? She did it! I mean, she's way funnier and cuter than me, but I'm TRYING here.
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I realized I was trolling facebook reading everyone else's notes, so I should probably write my own. Also I don't want to study.
1) This isn't going to be a surprise, but my body is put together crazily. I am a short girl with a very long torso. I have small feet with long toes. And I can guarantee you that I have the tendon-iest neck you ever did see. Shopping is hard. I should just wear a sleeping bag.
2) I think I love vegetables more than most people do. I don't say this in some weird, self righteous "I'm healthier than you" way, it's more like I crave specific vegetables most days, and when I travel and my vegetable supplies change I don't like it. I could wax poetic about kale specifically, and I eat something in the brassica oleracea family every day, usually more than once.
3) I don't wear rings because I'm afraid my fingers will swell up and the blood supply will get cut off and my fingers will turn black and fall off. I don't care how illogical that is. I don't need to know how impractical. It's grody and terrifying!
4) I will be a mother someday, and I will adopt my children. I know it in my heart of hearts and I can't wait for the honor.
5) I'm so ridiculously in love with my friends- they're one of the greatest blessings in my life, and I'll never know what I did to deserve them but I'm so grateful.
6) I find certain types of yoga so frustrating it nearly brings me to tears. I can do hot yoga, or some of the more active kinds, but very still, hold-yer-pose yogas are very upsetting to me.
7) I rarely cry, but I don't judge you if you do. I'm just not a crier. And I think that makes people think I don't get sad (I've heard "You're dead inside" a lot) but I do. I think I'm a lot more sensitive than I seem- but not about normal stuff. I don't know. This was all terribly ambiguous and weird. Let's move on.
8) I've traveled to England, Ireland, France, Wales, Italy, Greece, Belgium, Dubai, Tanzania, Canada, Mexico, Peru, and Spain. There was a point where I'd been to more countries than i had states in the US, but I think I've rectified that now. Next on my dream list are India and Austria. And China and Japan. And Australia!
9) I have a hard time holding a grudge or staying angry when people upset me. Sometimes I can pull it off, but often I simply forget that I'm mad. It was really frustrating when my brother and I would fight when I was younger, because I'd fully intend on never speaking to him again, but then, you know. Whoops. Now, wrong a friend of mine, and you're on my shit list for LIFE. Just try it. I dare you.
10) Speaking of that, I can't walk away from a dare.
11) Despite 25 years of dance, I am a terrific klutz and permanently covered in minor cuts and bruises. I usually have no idea where they came from, and if I remember, and someone happens to ask how I got this one or that one, I end up blushing and admitting that, you know. I cut my hand on the paper towel dispenser.
12) I can shock myself with my own meanness sometimes. Not pretty.
13) My life has been kind of a wild ride so far, and I used to be bitter about that. Like, I used to be angry that for whatever reason, so much shitty stuff had happened to me that never happened to other kids. But in the last few years, while working with so many children and young adults, I've realized that every bad thing that has happened to me happened so that, as an adult, I could relate to a kid who had had that same thing happen to them. Do you know what I mean? That shared experience allows me to forge a connection with a person that might not happen otherwise, and mutual growth and healing can come from that. So I know why things happened to me now- they're ice breakers and door openers. And I'm not even a little bit bitter about it anymore. What a relief.
14) That being said, I'm not ungrateful. I know I'm really blessed with the opportunities and experiences I've had. I would like to really wallow in self-indulgence and write a novel someday. It would be called something like "Ew, I Was Chewing On This Pen And It Broke In My Mouth: A Life Of Happy Accidents." Oh, you'd better beLIEVE there's a colon in there.
15) When we were little, my mom told us that dogs talk at midnight on Christmas Eve, and we always tried to stay awake long enough to hear. Even now, I'm not 100% convinced that they don't.
16) I feel the most like myself in a sundress and a pair of enormous sunglasses. Big earrings help too. Apparently, I fear losing a digit, but I'm completely fine with droopy earlobes.
17) When I was younger and in ballet and it was so competitive and weird and warped, I meditated and prayed and asked that I never feel jealousy ever again, because it was really screwing me up. So far, it's worked.
18) I do, however, wish I was a bit more demure. I can be loud and filter-less at the least convenient times, and I admire people who can be in public without accidentally screaming their deepest darkest secrets (THIS IS A CUP OF MY PEE!) or falling up the stairs. Three times in a row. Without a cocktail in sight. Help.
19) Despite all those years of dance, I have absolutely no rhythm. I can never be the tambourine girl in the band, dang it.
20) For the first time in my life, I'm having to study and work hard at school. I simultaneously love it and fear it even though I'm not sure I'm ever doing anything right. My monastic lifestyle is endlessly entertaining to me- work, school, exercise, sleep. Just get me a slanket (in brown, please) and I'm ready to be Brother Meg.
21) I can't really stand stupid movies. Stupid comedies, stupid romances, stupid action, stupid drama. I know they're nobody's favorite, but I can't just sit back and enjoy them like most people do. At times, that's frustrating because other people seem to like them so much, and even bond over them, and I feel left out.
22) Stupid infomercials, on the other hand, have captured my heart and I am their mistress. Yes, show me. Show me this chopper thing that also tells the time and is a book light and teaches you french and picks up dog poop and I WILL HAND YOU MY CREDIT CARD RIGHT NOW. Danger central.
23) There is usually some sort of 3rd person narration going on in my head at any given time. Not only that, but it is manifested by a hand writing the narration on a sheet of looseleaf paper. How about that for weird?
24) I don't know how to do my hair. Hair products mystify me. I think when my hair meets product, it only has two settings: No Product or Sticky.
25) I stay up too late and get up too early. That whole "you need 8 hours to function" thing? Total myth. I'm FINE. But i do wish I could sleep more.Labels: accidents, blogs, boring, commercials |
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| 10 Comments: |
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Holy Hannah. One, I can only assume that TK tagged you in one too many Facebook notes (shhh, I tagged him like NINE TIMES and I'm afraid he's going to drive to Philly and kick me in the ladyparts).
Two, there are so many things that I agree with you on that it's scary (lookit my fancy English!) so I'll just point out numbers:
11; 14 (please include the colon, because a colon makes everything better); 18; 22; 23; 24. I want a Snuggie but my friend JulieServo has promised to strangle me to death with it if I buy one, so I may have to make do with a Slap Chop instead. It makes instant fruit salad!
Go study your face off, please, so you can get to doctorin' with a quickness.
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I am a tallish girl with a very short torso and I'm challenging you to a neck tendon contest. A photo will be arriving in your inbox momentarily
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Oh Meg, I think I just adore you more and more each day!
I am TOTALLY #9! I've had people ask me many times if I'm still mad at them and I give them a blank stare and have to ask why I was mad originally. It's possible that they think I'm crazy.
#13 is just so amazingly awesome!
#15 - I also adore your mom. That is the cutest thing!
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I feel so much better that you did this too!
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Ok, so can we start looking into that long lost twin thing?
1) I have a tendon-y neck, too. Sending a pic your way, too. I'll give you and Lora a run for your money! Maybe...
3) I don't wear rings, well, because they typically signify love, and love is my anti-Christ.
7) I've been called "dead inside" several times. Just ask my ex.
11) I am THE klutz.
19) I don't dare attempt dance (because of 11) and I have no rhythm.
20) The other day, I loudly proclaimed I needed a Slanket. I got laughed at.
21) COMPLETELY agree. We can be left out together.
And if you are in fact my sister, I'll still call you Amy.
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I grew up with #23! For YEARS, the 3rd person narration! I'm so glad o hear someone else say that. Didn't have the hand and notebook paper though. I mean, I'm not THAT weird.
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#1- You are just a short Korean. They have a phrase for the long torso, shorter legs thing: the waist problem. It means that their waist is too low on their bodies compared to western beauty standards. They wear long jeans with really high heals to compensate. I wish I were kidding.
#8- Have fun in India but be careful! I've traveled through Europe, N America, Africa and Asia and I've seen a lot of 3rd world countries and had my heart broken by the poverty and the desire to help everyone. Cambodia was really tough (just got back) but the beggar fatigue hits hard and fast. The scams are rampant and dangerous. It breaks my heart because I really wanted to go, but I don't know if I could handle it.... Too soft, I guess.
Sorry to be a downer (party pooper!) but I felt obliged to give a heads up, feel free to ignore me!
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my friend janet and i call it "a dancer's grace." it's just a side effect of having people tell you how to walk for the first 20 years of your life.
charred cruciferous for life, dude.
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I just love this so so much. You are a find.
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your adopted kids will meet my adopted kids someday and make a really really oddball group :) .. going out and bringing back little people to give them a home.. who wouldn't want that?.. that was rhetorical
I have been to most continents except north america.. how strange is that!
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Name: A Lover and a Fighter
Home: New York, NY
About Me: "It is a very sad thing that nowadays there is so little useless information."
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Holy Hannah. One, I can only assume that TK tagged you in one too many Facebook notes (shhh, I tagged him like NINE TIMES and I'm afraid he's going to drive to Philly and kick me in the ladyparts).
Two, there are so many things that I agree with you on that it's scary (lookit my fancy English!) so I'll just point out numbers:
11; 14 (please include the colon, because a colon makes everything better); 18; 22; 23; 24. I want a Snuggie but my friend JulieServo has promised to strangle me to death with it if I buy one, so I may have to make do with a Slap Chop instead. It makes instant fruit salad!
Go study your face off, please, so you can get to doctorin' with a quickness.