Are you sure this happened to you and wasn't you spying on my last relationship? Because that totally sums it up perfectly. I almost sent a link to this post to my ex-boyfriend before realizing that a "hey, doesn't this remind you of our relationship?" email of this nature would probably be heinously awkward.

 

Greetings from Nova Scotia once again Meg!

You totally just described me and my last boyfriend except I would say to him, please don't touch me you sweaty asshat!

 

Wow, no, I've always been the cuddly one, but my hubby hasn't had to chew his arm off or anything. yet.

you reminded me of this spot I just saw. I don't live in N America, so maybe this is all too familiar, but I had to share anyway.

NOT work appropriate! (at least, not at my school...)

http://superfad.com/player.php?project=251&item=566

I'll never look at balloon animals the same again.

 

What's 'coitus'? I should explain - I'm a virgin. Srsly! Ask my kids!

~ Piney

Word verification of the day: iredsor. It's a species of really, really angry lizard-like reptiles that lived in the late Mesozoic.

 

Arielle- I almost sent this to D, from the post, before I thought better of it!

Kelly- Oh dear. Sweaty too? Terrible combo. Just terrible. And are you just freezing your ass off up there?

Rosie- that ad is crazy!

Piney- "Coitus" is a neologism I've coined referring to a specific nocturnal hour. These events occurred post-coitus, which is to say that it was after the cats down in the backyard had finished doing it, but before the garbage trucks came banging down the street. In "conventional time" it would translate to roughly 3:17 am.

 

i have nothing to say to this that wouldn't be totally inappropriate, and my goal for 2009 is to be more appropriate.
...
...
...
no, not really. that's a lie. but i do find your perspective on this issue totally alien and fascinating.

 

I've always felt like I *should* like cuddling...
Anyway, what amused me the most was on a whim I clicked on your tag "This is why I don't have a boyfriend" and was amused this was not the only entry with that tag. Hehe.
PS My word verification is "hornical" I shit you not. I'm skurred.

 

i hate cuddling after the sexhaving. everyone- that sounds wrong- both of you (that's better) are all sweaty and icky and there is that weird peanutbutter/sex smell that starts to set in if you don't get up to go clean yourself up. (I just typed "out" but that sounds effing nasty). Plus I have to pee really bad and I usually want to check to see if my armpits stink or brush my teeth or whatever.

I'm with you on all this, is what I'm trying to say.

 

Kelsi- I'm an odd duck.

Yvo- oh yeah. for sure. you think there's only one reason? nay. a whole host!

Lora- exactly. i think sex should be followed by group shower. I am so glad you understand.

 

I follow your blog pretty regularly. Right before bed, I read this post. I can only assume that is why I had a dream about you! You and I were long lost twin sisters. The best part is that you were Amy Sedaris.

I am blaming this post for the dream. Just thought I'd share.

 

AML-you sweet girl. I get to be Amy??? really for real? You are the BEST twin sister I have ever ever had. Made my day.

 

Oh my god. This is beautiful and hilarious and I would have had the SAME RESPONSE. Wow.

 

I see it's not just me. In my head, I hear Amy Sedaris's voice when I read your blog. I just adore you both so much. My big-time dream would be to get invited to a party at her house and to bring you with me. And have you freak out and start TALKINGREALLYLOUDLY! I would pee.

I should probably have higher aspirations in life, but I don't...

 

Meg, this is why I keep coming back to you. I wish I knew how to quit you.

Seriously, don't you all pee after sex? That's how you get the UTIs, you know. Or do you just enjoy toting around a gallon of cranberry juice? Freaks.

 

I like you more than Amy Sedaris.

Not a super compliment, really, as I am not a huge fan.

 

Joy- I knew we were soul sisters.

Lainey- God love you! Seriously, that's the best compliment ever. I adore her. I would absolutely pee, and also probably accidentally set something on fire. Do you have her entertaining book? And by that I mean the book in which she discusses entertaining. Not her non-boring book. My god. Stop me.

Nicole- Don't quit me! I'll be all alone. And I totally pee after sex. I sometimes try to wait a bit so that the guy falls asleep a little first.

Pdw- All the same, thanks.

 

I thought I was the only one who waited to pee so the dude would fall asleep and not force me into cuddling!

 

Sexsexsexsex. Done.

aahhh.. so THATS how its done! eyeopener of a post.. must.try.this.way

 

this is good stuff. It'd creep me out if a guy wanted to cuddle and say strangely sweet things like that. Cuddling is gross and sweaty.

I really love these nice posts from days gone by. Good stuff :) my drafts folder is just full of ranty things that wouldn't amuse anyone.

 

Haha, oh yes!

This is why I always try to have sex at their house. And since I'm doing it with the ladies, usually they have nice places.

But I leave soon afterwards of the coitus sexsexsex done making. Or sleep over and then leave early in the morning, making sure to leave behind a funny note. But hella no cuddling.

 

i need to stop telling people about my blog so that i can tell stories like that one.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! oh, meg.