| Zeitgeist or I'm A Cheater so I prefer Zeitgeist |
You guys! Look at this email that was in my inbox this morning:
Dear lover and a fighter,
Hi. As great an idea as what you blogged about most recently is, I just thought I'd bring to your notice a weekly column in our newspaper already running by the name Anti Aunty --
http://epaper.hindustantimes.com/Default.aspx?selpg=2757&BMode=100&selDt=11/23/2008.
Warmly,
XXXXX
No joke! I fancied myself quite clever, but as it turns out, the Hindustan Times totally thought of this before I did.
The representative who emailed me was not all combative or insulting or rude by any means. He very simply was informing me, I believe, that I'm bordering on copyright infringement. I THINK. You guys read it, and tell me what you think. This person was pretty kind. He didn't tell me to discontinue my non-existent column, he merely let me know that his news organization had a similar feature already running.
I have to figure something out here, for two reasons.
1) I am NOT going to be accused of stealing someone else's gig. The internet is a very big playground, to be sure, but I hardly want to pilfer the Frisbee of the Hindustan Times.
2) Anti Aunty and I have very, very different intentions. I poked around on their site and attempted to preview the column, but you can only read these first few sentences without registering-
"My friend is gay and he provokes me to turn gay as well. I like girls but I want to make him straight without losing his friendship."
Nobody is going to email me with that kind of question, and if they did, I probably wouldn't respond to it because I am only interested in situations that could actually happen- real life problems- and a gay person "provoking (you) to turn gay" is about as likely as me giving birth to a unicorn, but to do THAT I'd have to start seriously dating a Big Guy Unicorn, and try as I might I just can't get them to show interest in me, so the unicorn mommyhood is not anywhere in my future, tragically.
(I'd like to call everyone's attentions to the enormous run-on that just happened above. This place is practically a crime scene!)
The thing is, I'm pretty confident that the Hindustan Times and I don't share any readers. At all. But for the sake of argument, let's say we do. Maybe it's one guy. I like to think that he's in California. So anyway, what if this guy was to look at both the HT and Hobocamp one day, and the advice offered by Auntie Anti and Anti Aunty becomes hybridized in his head. And what if this person then thinks that instead of offering my misguided readers detailed instructions as to exactly how to delicately disentangle oneself from a vending machine without revealing one's undies to one's office repair guy, I am teaching people how to un-gay a friend? I can't have that.
So I'm going to change the name of the feature.
Scratch that.
YOU are going to change the name of the feature.
I feel like it's contest season 'round these parts. I am nothing if not a bandwagon blogger, so I want to play too.
If you think you have a good idea for a name for this new feature of mine (the details of which can be read here), please email me and let me know what it is. If I pick yours, you will win a HUGE ENORMOUS PRIZE.
I will give you my first unicorn baby.
That's just a joke. I'll make you a t-shirt.
I'm a t-shirt maker from way back, and it would be my honor to personalize a t-shirt just for you. It would be emblazoned with a choice Hobocamp theme and sent to you with love and care and maybe just a whisper of drool because when I am concentrating really hard on something my mouth dangles open like a guppy.
Let's have at it, guys! Email your ideas to aloverandafighter(at)gmail(dot)com, and I'll pick my favorite one as the new feature name. And please do respond, because I told my mom about all this and as a result she's been offering up names all morning, and when I told her that her last one was dumb (she suggested Anti Uncle) and that I'm not a man, she threw a Q-tip at me. It's getting violent around here. I might have to exclude family from the contest.
Love love love, and WRITE SOON because YOU COULD BE A WINNER!
MegLabels: blogs, DONT Ask Auntie Anti, giveaway |
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| 13 Comments: |
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that's nuts! what does this guy do, sit around with Google all day? I say go ahead and do it anyway. There are tons of similar things of all sorts going on in the world all around us every day and no one seems to get hurt by it.
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Meg,
HT and hobocamp do indeed share at least one reader.. but rest assured I intend to ignore advice from both and manufacture my very own brand of mess :D
..so you know, don't shoot the messenger :)
FYI: the XXXX in the email is actually a honking hot female.. I am sure of it.. mostly.
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Haha I'm sorry but I was giggling at the wonder of how this guy found you, but then I realized... it's the same way I've been getting crazy emails lately from people who work for the places I write about. GOOGLE ALERT which is the best self-stalker gadget in the WORLD... hehe err anyway.
I need to get crackin' on a name, a t shirt with your drool on it?! AWESOME!!!
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But yours was going to be spelled differently so it's totally fine. Yeah? I think so.
Man, it would be sweet to have a baby unicorn.
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I wish I had a baby unicorn.
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Hello,
I'm a big guy unicorn. I've read your comments concerning having baby unicorns and giving them away. I must inform you that we are already running this promotion over at my newspaper, The Daily Horn. Please think up a new contest so as not to infringe on our copyrighted G-BUG (Great Baby Unicorn Giveaway)
PS. I may be able to help you have your own baby unicorn. Wink wink.
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I care to differ. I know many gays that regularly try to 'un-gay' their hot straight friends. I bet Sassy has. Or at least knows people who've tried. Usually with alcohol, straight porn, and talks about how horny he must be.
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Fuck a bunch of t-shirts. I WANT A UNICORN BABYYYYYYYY!!! YOU SAAAAAIIIIDD!!!!!
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Lora- No, it's cool. I really don't care. I like the idea of having a contest anyway. This is far more fun.
Manu- I know, she totally ratted you out so fast. I like her a lot.
Yvo- Special Hobocamp Drool. From a real Hobo.
Jamelah- Yeah, it would be spelled differently but whatever. T shirt time! I bet baby unicorns poop gold into their diapers.
Gazelle- Me too, love. See the comment below yours.
Echoud- Your comment absolutely made my day, and I might just have to give you a t shirt too for writing the best comment I've ever gotten.
Jason-you're not even making sense. un-gay a straight guy? like a "straight" guy? or were you saying try to gay a straight guy? Either way, those were some nice suggestions you sent in...
TK-sigh. fine. just for you.
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OMG, you just reminded me of this: 10 reasons it would rule to date a unicorn
http://mingle2.com/dating/unicorn
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I'll think up some suggestions if you promise me that if I win I get a t-shirt that says "baby unicorns poop gold."
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Ok, I have some ideas:
Call yourself "Personal Guide & Mentor to Young Celebrities". No one wants to end up like Lindsay Lohan, you know? You could go by "Auntie Holly" - short for "Auntie Holly Wood".
No?
What about going by the name Auntie Ekki? "Ekki" means "no" or "not" in Icelandic. Everyone will get that!!!
Can I have my t-shirt now?
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Those big unicorn guys are fools! You are a catch, Meg.
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Name: A Lover and a Fighter
Home: New York, NY
About Me: "It is a very sad thing that nowadays there is so little useless information."
-Oscar Wilde
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that's nuts! what does this guy do, sit around with Google all day? I say go ahead and do it anyway. There are tons of similar things of all sorts going on in the world all around us every day and no one seems to get hurt by it.