| More photos. Or, How I Almost Lost My Job. |
Last week, a colleague of mine asked if she could tag along one day in the OR. She wanted to be trained on this project I'm doing. My philosophy is "the more, the merrier" when it comes to surgeries, so I said why the hell not. She got all scrubbed up and followed me in to theORs.
We stopped outside of the room and I grabbed a hat and a mask, and told her to do the same. There are two types of masks available outside of our operating rooms. One is a standard pleated mask that looks like this:
It's probably what you think of when you think of surgical masks.
We also have another type of mask- this weird, duckbilled sort- that I prefer. It looks like this:
I like this one better for two reasons. The first reason is that it isn't as close to your face, so it's less claustrophobia-inducing and it doesn't bother me as much. The second reason is that it doesn't mess up my lip gloss.
For the record? Those two shots above are pretty representative of how I look all day, every day. How have I not managed to catch a husband at work? I certainly do not know.
So anyway, I told my friend that she could use whatever mask she was comfortable using, and she could come find me in the OR when she was ready. She nodded and I walked in to do my job.
It was relatively early on in the case, but there was already a ton to do, so I got to work right away and barely noticed when she slipped in a few moments later and kind of set herself up in
the corner.
I was fooling around with some blood samples when it occurred to me that she should learn to do this too, so I kind of waved her over to me without taking my eyes off of my work. I had been explaining my process for a little bit when I became distracted by how fidgety she was. She kept craning her neck, stretching it out, and looking up- like she couldn't get comfortable. I was still bent over my samples, but I asked "Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I guess," she replied. "I don't know why you like these masks better, though. They're horrible."
"No way! You don't like them?" I said, pipetting urine from one vial to another.
"It's like it's choking me."
"Well, loosen the ties a bit. That's okay to do."
"No, no. It's not that. I feel like I'm eating it. It keeps getting in my mouth. Ugh, this is so obnoxious!" she said, obviously distressed.
Concerned, I finally looked up. Immediately, I started laughing and squirted pee on the floor. (Not my OWN pee! That would be gross. It was the patient's pee). Because my friend somehow had not properly donned her mask, and instead of the duckbill pointing out like it does on, well, a duck, she had the mask on inside out and it was in her mouth, making her look kind of like a flushed sock puppet. See below for re-enactment:
And when she was trying to talk, her voice was muffled because looky how she was gagged by her mask:
I started laughing so hard, the attending anesthesiologist came over to see what was so funny. Then HE started giggling, and then the resident saw and lost it, and then the entire anesthesia team was snorting at how this girl was deepthroating her surgical mask. We got so loud that the surgeon stopped the procedure to ask what the hell was going on, and all I could do was point at my poor friend's face. He just rolled his eyes and went back to work because surgeons are boring and no fun and have too much back hair.
Anyway, my friend went out and changed and came back in, and we were able to finish the case without incident. She was really embarrassed though, and I totally feel for her. I mean, thankfully, people are used to this kind of shit from me. But my friend? I don't know. It must be hard to have your dignity compromised like that. I wouldn't know, having never had dignity in the first place, but I can definitely use my imagination...Labels: on the job, pictures |
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| 10 Comments: |
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I heard dignity is overrated anyway.
Also, LOVE the pictures. Absolutely fabulous.
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Tomorrow do we get pics of you in a burka?
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There's nothing sexier than a girl in a duck-billed mask and a shower cap.
Wait. That's not true at all.
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Meg, a mistress of disguise
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the fact that the surgeon didn't giggle is complete and total proof that he is not human. there is no excuse for not laughing at someone who can't put on a mask.
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That is comedy of the highest order right there. I especially like the "deep throating her mask" crack.
And I know this is stupid, but I'm tagging you.
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too many jokes...must refrain from ridicule...
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hey, I read your blog sometimes (ok, fatihfully) so when I came across this on Urban Dictionary yesterday, I couldn't resist. (Not because you're hobosexual so much as because of your blog's title!)
Hobosexual:
Adjective. The opposite of metrosexual; one who cares little for one's own appearance.
Examples: Michael Moore, Peter Jackson. First documented hobosexual - John the Baptist.
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man, and here i thought hobosexuals were those who liked to service the homeless.
apparently, i was wrong.
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Mindy- that's what my tattoo says.
Peter- no.
TK- LOVE ME.
clicky- now you see me, now you wish you hadn't.
Kelsi- I KNOW.
OTV-I call them as I see them. And I am sorry, but I can't do that thing you tagged me to do. I didn't properly load anything on to my Pod and now I never know what I'm listening to. Forgive?
dmb- don't hold back.
Skepptic- John the Baptist was a hobosexual??? I had no idea! Thank you!
Kelsi- Those people are called "our roommate."
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Name: A Lover and a Fighter
Home: New York, NY
About Me: "It is a very sad thing that nowadays there is so little useless information."
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I heard dignity is overrated anyway.
Also, LOVE the pictures. Absolutely fabulous.