| I'm so super cool in here. I mean, you know, HOT too. But also? Cool. |
So remember when I was all cold last week? I did some shopping online during that time and I bought myself a new, long, puffy, ridiculous coat. It's kind of the equivalent of wearing a sleeping bag in public. Basically, I'm one small tailored step away from a grocery-cart pushing, can-collecting, tinfoil hat-sporting pile of crazy. But that fucker is warm!
My coat arrived today, and I immediately tried it on, and oh my stars. Um. Know who I look like?
Him:
See? Here I am, next to the all seasons tree.
Perhaps you would like a close up? Sure. I aim to please.
Sassy took these pictures. He saw that a package had arrived for me and he wanted to know what it was, so I modeled for him. He could not stop laughing, and then he wanted to take some sexy layout shots. "Get on the kitchen table," he ordered. "Sprawl across it, and then look up at me. Perfect. You look like a manatee."
"Okay. Now roll on to your stomach. Point your toes!"
"Good, good. Now, tilt back on one elbow a bit. TWIST! What is WRONG with you? LOOK UP AT ME! UP!"
At this exact moment, Kelsi walked through the door. She stopped in the kitchen and took in the scene before her. "Perfect timing!" Sassy crowed.
"I got a new coat," I offered.
"I see that."
"So. Um. We took some pictures of it."
By this time, she was laughing. I asked her to take another photo or two, for posterity's sake, but then I had to take the coat off because I was overheating like a sonafabitch.
In any case, I will definitely be warm this winter. I'm so relieved already. God bless the goose who gave her down for my coat. And the wee third world babes who gave their fingers sewing its lining.Labels: on the homefront, silly, the all seasons tree |
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| 18 Comments: |
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i'm *still* giggling about the fact that it really is like you wearing a sleeping bag. i didn't say it out loud, but it's totally what i was thinking.
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too soon?
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I like how you are preparing so far in advance for your visit to Minnesota. This should do nicely.
Also, you DO look like a manatee. A furry one.
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That is so fucking awesome. If I were still living on the east coast I would totally buy a coat like that. I just hope you don't have a the fate that Kenny always does... Because, you know, that would kinda suck to die every week. :)
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Holy. Crap.
The photoshoot itself is hilarious.
The manatee comment... sublime.
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I'm laughing pretty hard right now. So much so that I don't have anything better to say than that. I thought you should know.
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Damn, that's some sexy strutting! What's that I hear? J.C. Penney catalog calling? Oh yeah, baby!
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K- It is completely and totally a sleeping bag. Never too soon. Never.
M- A hirsute manatee, perhaps?
EAP- Amen to that!
PdW- Sassy is nothing if not honest.
Jamelah- I'm so glad you likee.
JB- Should I start a members only paid website where I'm in my coat and stretched on the beach, or wearing my coat in the shower or something? Hubba hubba, right?
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You're keeping the coat? It is currently a balmy 1 degree in Minnesota, and I don't think I know anyone who wears so much outerwear. Of course we only run from house to car, car to office, office to car, car to store, store to car, and car to house.
I think it took an entire flock of geese to make that sucker.
Still waiting to hear all about handyman Frank...
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Jason- Not only am I keeping it, but I will model it for you when I come visit next month. Get ready to be turned straight by how hot I am in it. Literally.
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Mmmm... ursine Meg ... :)
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manatee made me laugh... hirsute manatee made me me guffaw loudly in a quiet office. lucky it's hometime.
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MEG! I had forgotten all about your teeny tiny baby feet until just this moment when I saw them...I think you and Elisabeth should have a traveling show wherein you show the world your smallest feet and her smallest hands.
That is all. Thanks for letting your life make me laugh
Helen
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Maxie- I'd leave fur all over the bed.
Click- maybe the hirsuite manatee has PCOS or something
HELEN- i miss you, mama! I love that little dumpling of yours. can't wait to meet her.
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There has got to be really weird fetish site where you could sell these photos for many bucks. I'll admit it. I'm not ashamed. I was a little turned on.
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Mikey- I know. I'm surprised it took people that long to say anything. maybe my other readers are too polite?
Gargar- FIND IT FOR ME. You can be my agent. I will give you 10%. xxoxoxo
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I'm absurdly happy that you have dirty feet. BF constantly mocks me for my dirty feet but I CAN'T HELP IT! I don't wear socks in my house so obviously I have dirty feet =P
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Sprawl across the table...great! Now, show me Hypothermia! Yes! Hold on, I'll be back..... (Fap fap fap fap fap fap fap....oh yeah...)
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Name: A Lover and a Fighter
Home: New York, NY
About Me: "It is a very sad thing that nowadays there is so little useless information."
-Oscar Wilde
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i'm *still* giggling about the fact that it really is like you wearing a sleeping bag. i didn't say it out loud, but it's totally what i was thinking.
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too soon?