Hobocamp

Thursday, May 17, 2007

So it's definitely grocery store time at the hobocamp house, but I've been working quite a bit lately and I just haven't had the time. I'm at that phase where you convince yourself that it's totally okay to combine the ingredients in your cabinet to make "meals."

Quinoa and texturized vegetable protein? Sure.

Spinach, salsa, and corn? Okay.

Brussels sprouts and tofurkey? Hey, I didn't barf.

You get the idea. I'm sure I'm not the only one does this kind of thing. In any case, the other night I was poking around in my fridge, trying to find something to make for dinner, when I stumbled upon a package of brown rice Mochi that Lolo had convinced me to buy a while ago. I checked the expiration date and found, mysteriously, that it wouldn't go bad until sometime in 2008.

"Hey," I thought. "Dinner!"

When Lo talked me in to this stuff, she said "I usually make mine with goat cheese and red pepper jelly- you will love it. You like savory." And right she is! But I didn't have any goat cheese nor any red pepper jelly, so I thought I'd just cut them into sections as per the instructions, pop them in the oven and see how it worked out later.

In the interim, I looked up Mochi on the internet. My favorite favorite favorite thing was this section of the Wikipedia entry on Mochi (as always, bolding is mine):

Mochi is very sticky and somewhat tricky to eat. After each new year, it is reported in the Japanese media how many people die from choking on mochi. The victims are usually elderly. Because it is so sticky, it is difficult to dislodge via the Heimlich maneuver. In the Japanese comedy film Tampopo, a house vacuum is used to suck it out. (Some lifesaving experts say that a vacuum cleaner is actually efficient for stuck mochi.)

Besides the obvious temptation to do a search on monster.com for open "lifesaving expert" positions in Queens, I realized that--natural-born daredevil that I am-- I was about to risk my life to eat this puffed glutinous brown rice food.

Ding! said my oven.

I pulled out my exotic dinner, and just stared, because I'd made this

Mmmmmmmmm, right?

I don't get it.

What a mystery food!

I guess I should have been more careful in my placement of those things, because they'd clearly puffed up, joined forces, and emerged as mutant foods.

I did a little more exploring.

This one looks like one of the mandrakes from Pan's Labyrinth, or Harry Potter...or as Truth Serum pointed out, what King Triton turns into in Little Mermaid after Ursula accepts his servitude in exchange for his bitch daughter's freedom:

She's right!

I also thought this one looked like a penis doing a push up:

Wow, look at my white white paw.

I decided to bust one open to see what it was like on the inside. I don't know if I didn't cook it long enough or what, but the inside stretches all out goopy like this:

Long story short (too late!) I totally ate it. It was good- like a hot chewy rice cake. But guess what? Not so good the next day.

Somebody go to the grocery store for me and wake me up when you get back.

Thanks in advance.

Love,
Meg

Labels: food, on the homefront

posted by A Lover and a Fighter at 6:19 PM -

5 Comments:

At 4:22 PM, kelsi said…

oh, jesus. i once got really, really sick after eating mochi (i'm not sure that the two were in any way actually related, but my mind has made them so) and so now, the very sight of that sticky, strange, vulgar stuff brings a metallic taste to the back of my throat. you really enjoyed it? are you sure?
seriously, though, you live in new york. can't you just, like, order in the most fabulously exotic and delicious food for mere pennies? that's what everyone tells me, anyway.
oh, and this post leads me to believe that you are still a vegetarian. right? how's that going?
At 4:53 PM, ALB said…

If you like Mochi, you'll probably enjoy Mochi-covered ice cream. I personally can't stand the stuff. I guess I dont like things with the consistency of snot and the flavor of styrofoam peanuts. Enjoy your next Mochi meal!
At 8:51 AM, A Lover and a Fighter said…

It wasn't that sticky on the outside. It wasn't sweet either. It was just kind of crunchy and plain tasting- I rather liked it.

And no, I'm not a vegetarian. I was a vegan for a month, but I eat meat. Just not a ton of it.

ALB- ewwwwwwww. snot is my achilles heel. GROSS.
At 9:39 PM, Lolo said…

Next time: Cook a wee bit longer, put more space between squares, AND only make what you are going to eat. It doesn't keep well. Not a good "left over food".
At 8:25 AM, Doug - Rachel's dad said…

O ho ho ho. Me love funny pretty lady. She make me laff so hard.