Either I'm determined to make you feel better, or I also enjoy tales of personal embarrassment, but fuck it - I've got that beat. Because I have, in the past, while sober, dropped the following things into the toilet:

1. My cell phone
2. My watch
3. My cell phone again
4. My cat

Hand to God.

 

Stop! It hurts! The laughing hurts...

 

My id is encased in plastic from one of those sweet id holders to wear on my hip. sexy!

anyways, when i dropped my id in the toilet once, and had to fish it out, the water remained in the plastic id holder.

And i love you now more than ever.

 

Oh, laughter-induced pain.

I dropped my favorite eyeshadow in the toilet once and fished it back out. I left it sitting on the back of the toilet for three months because I didn't want to wear it, but I also didn't want to throw it away, because that shit's expensive, yo. So why am I writing of it in the past tense like it's no longer in my life? Because I accidentally knocked it off the back of the toilet when I fell down in my bathroom and it broke into a million shimmery, powdery pieces. Were I not such an irrevocable klutz, it would probably still be sitting in its honorary back-of-the-toilet spot to this day.

 

this story just killed me. with laughter.
did diane enjoy your story?

 

You should have told them there was a bully that gave you a swirly. Sure, that would have been even more embarrassing, but it's fun to say swirly.

 

TK- i love you.

UC- I bet it doesn't hurt as much as my pride.

dmbmeg- i love you too and together we are a beautiful disaster.

jamelah- see, here is the difference between us: if the actual shadow hadn't been affected, I totally would have still used it. especially if it was a magic dream color that gave me irresistable peepers. do you think less of me?

kelsi- she LOVED it. she was a great audience member. i was actually glad I got to share it with her.

mike- but then HR would have gotten involved, and who wants to deal with those whores?

 

i am meagan's brother and i just learned that i can leave comments on her blog.YYYAAAYYYYY!

 

i am meg's pager and i too am leaving comments! weeeeee!!!

 

Two Halloweens ago I was dressed as a 50s housewife. The main points were big hair, big heels, stockings with the line up the back, a frilly dress, an apron, and a black eye. I was pregaming at a bar with one friend and hit the toilet to break the seal, you know. I talk on the phone until I enter the bathroom, then I slap it shut in the stall and drop it into my apron pocket. Except that I drunkenly whiffed on the pocket and the phone slid down my body in slow-mo and dove into the toilet. I was so trashed that I didn't even think twice. I went forearm-deep into that bitch right away. I grabbed my phone out of a public toilet because I am that attached to my phonebook. After two weeks of the battery airing out separately from the phone, it turned back on. But because I couldn't get used to the idea of ever pressing that thing to my ear again, I had the Verizon guy switch my phonebook to a new phone. I didn't tell him where it had been first, because fuck Verizon.ht

 

Oh, and you can totally say we're friends. Just know that we have a long future ahead of me borrowing your crap and keeping it, accusing you of trying to poach a guy you were never really into to begin with, and dealing with two clutzes in a single story (tough one to pull off). "So I tripped and totally ROCKED this girl Amanda, and she fell into a puddle of snake shit..." etc.

 

Hi brother. Why did it take you so long to learn how to comment? I would have told you.

PAGER- How did you get out of the toilet?

LWL- I've done that too. I knew there was a reason we were drawn to one another. And also I will never poach a guy of yours because I 1- would not even know how to do that and 2- do not have the balls. But I'm excited for the story where after you fell in the snake shit I was so surprised I backed into the line of portapotties at the concert and they fell over, domino like, taking people out left and right and we had to flee the scene in poopy shame.

 

About three months back my cat dropped herself into the toilet.

Don't feel bad -- Tech support wouldn't replace her either.

 

I came to leave a comment, but there were 13 before me so it looks like I am a little late. And now that I am here I don't have any good stories about dropping things in the toilet. So, I just have a question. Which Steve Martin movie is your life like? The Jerk? Sgt. Bilko? Bringing Down the House? The Man with Two Brains?

 

In addition, my apologies for converting your metaphor into simile. Deepest regrets. . .

 

Hex- I feel sorry for your pussy. I'm glad she's okay!

Gar- I was mostly thinking of The Jerk. But I'm willing to entertain other suggestions. Maybe The Pink Panther, or Bringing Down The House?

And don't worry. I noted your little switcheroo and found it pretty kinky. Mission accomplished, Don Juan!

 

Is your pager single? I like my men smelling of toilet

 

and vibrating, of course.

 

If there is one thing I am known for it is kinky switcheroos.

 

you classy girl, this kinda shit makes telecom's day. i once flushed my step counter (exercise thing) down the loo during a walking competition. I actually dropped it twice, the first time it kept working so i sorta um, dried it, and kept wearing it. gross. thankfully it stopped working the 2nd time i dropped it in the loo.

 

Meggles: I'm not sure if my pager is single or not, but you know who is? ME! And I can vibrate with the best of them!

Garrett Reid-don't sell yourself short. If there is one thing you are known for it is your Donny Osmond lower back tattoo.

Joie- i'm glad to know that someone i admire so much (you!) also has issues with throwing their stuff in the loo. I'm in good company.