Hobocamp

Friday, August 18, 2006

Did you guys read this? We all know how I feel about food or other inanimate objects and their resemblence to religious figures, or body parts. I'm pro! Which is why I was so excited to see this chocolate that resembles the Virgin Mary. Look what Cruz Jacinto found:

The Virgin Mary! Chocolatey Deliciousness! There are lots of articles about how the chocolate drippings that formed this Holy Lady normally lie flat and thin on waxed paper before they are collected, but Cruz noticed they were in a lump and she picked up the lump and it was JESUS' MOM, Y'ALL.

My favorite part of the CBS article to which I linked (and the reason that I chose it out of all of its competitors) actually comes in the form of a comment posted after the article:

Oh, please. Why are so many people more fasinated with ojects (sic)- in this case a piece of chocolate - than they are with God's revealed truth? The Bible shows us who God is and how He has purchased forgiveness through Christ's death on the Cross. Unless we turn from our sin and surrender to Christ's offer of grace we will have to suffer for our own sins. That is so much more important than how a deformed piece of candy looks. After all, no one even knows what Mary looked like.
Posted by davebethel at 12:30 PM : Aug 18, 2006

ZING! Man, did davebethel show those worshippers what's up! Way to poo poo on their parade, davebethel.

Obviously, davebethel is choosing to ignore the repeated appearances that Mary likes to make in snacks. NOT JUST CANDY! Please see below.
Here she is in a sandwich:

And here she's getting a bit of a caffeine buzz (which she can do now that she's not nursing the baby Jesus anymore), having some toast (I know, who eats so many carbs these days? what a heifer), here she decided to grace a holy peanut, here she's hanging out with a jawbreaker (she brought the Christ Child with her this time), here she is enjoying (and who doesn't) the occasional Pop-Tart brand toaster pastry, and finally, a big old glass of chocolate milk to wash it all down.

(Apparently, it's a family tradition to appear in junk food, because here is Mary's boy in a potato chip.)

My point is this: davebethel, perhaps the revelation of God's truth and the piece of chocolate (or legume, or latte, or candy, or whatever) are not mutually exclusive, as you seem to think. Maybe the reason you're being such a snarky bitch about people getting excited over these images is because you are insanely jealous that religious figures have not revealed themselves to you in your daily snacks. Or, worse yet, maybe they tried and you eschewed their attempts because you don't eat any of the tasty (if not a little fattening) treats where deities like to chill. Hope you're happy with yourself, davebethel. Hope it's worth it when your pants zip easily in the afterlife.

As for me, I'm not going to be wearing pants in the afterlife.

Love,
A Lover And A Fighter

Related: Mother Theresa goes well with a good cup of coffee

posted by A Lover and a Fighter at 11:51 AM -

2 Comments:

At 10:05 AM, The Suzer said…

While it's not a vision of the edible kind, my personal favorite is still "Our Lady of the Underpass," wherein the Immaculate Mother of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ came to Chicago in the form of a salt stain under the Kennedy Expressway.
At 10:56 AM, CARLO$ DINERO said…

aaahhhh, dumbasses; you can't live with 'em, you can't bury their face in a boiling pot of battery acid. therein lies the dilemma.

i once saw a news story where mary was spotted on the side of a building in the form of streaks. that's right, streaks on glass resembled their savior.