Hobocamp

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

So at work we have two bathrooms to share amongst the whole floor. Everyone has a key and one key works for both bathrooms. Normally, it is a very efficient, private system that is easy and beneficial to us all. But there are certain, bustling times of day where we all happen to need to use the facilities almost simultaneously.

Everyone is very polite. There's always a certain amount of knocking, delicately declaring one's occupancy of the bathroom, then of course copious apologizing and scurrying away. (While I feel that this ritual applies to everyone, I am painfully cognizant of the fact that I personally am a scurrier- I get really embarrassed if I knock and someone happens to be in the restroom. I think I'm worried they'll perceive me as rude, boorish, and constantly shitting.)

What I have noticed, by virtue of being so very close to the bathrooms, is that everyone has their own unique way of saying "Don't come in here, I'm relieving myself." What's better is that I can now identify almost everyone on the floor by their territorial announcements. Please see below:

Me: (entirely too high-pitched) Just a minute!
Ayanna: Occupied. This is occupied.
Prat: Um, hold on, okay?
Leo: Oy!
Kate: Yeah?
Pam: I'm almost done!
Kung: NoNO!
Dr G: Peter's here!
Dr K: I'm busy.
Lou: Yes, can I help you?
Dee: Oh my!
Ming: (Big loud obviously fake cough)
Minnie: I'm sorry, I'm in here.
Dawn: Wait!
Neil: No thanks. <---- This one always confuses me. I think he thinks he's funny. But when I encounter it, I am always so surprised that I say "oh, um, okay! sorry!"

I kind of have a good time with this game. I especially enjoy it when people switch things up, or when there's someone new and they're trying out a test phrase or something.

What I enjoy way, WAY less is when I can tell who was in the restroom before me based entirely on the smell that still lingers behind them.

Less of a challenge, less enthralling.

posted by A Lover and a Fighter at 12:29 PM -

3 Comments:

At 9:20 PM, WJR said…

I love the "No thanks" response. It borders on genius.

In a personal note, when it is also funny to use "No thanks" is when you are on the other end of the exchange. Once after a long night of boozin' I was using the facilities (#2) at my own home. While in my drunken/half awake state, sitting on the shitter, my friend busts in the door. He looks up, sees me and says, "No thanks," closes the door as though it never happened. Genius!
At 7:17 AM, A Lover and a Fighter said…

Smart AND classy. A real winner!
At 5:27 PM, Alaskan Dave Down Under said…

I'd be the one inside saying, "who's there?"

And if I was the knocker and heard that I'd make up a silly ass knock knock joke.

but, hey, I'm different.