| Sorry, this isn't about farting or sex* |
Has anyone else noticed that the Jews for Jesus are out in DROVES lately? They're handing out so much goddamned literature in the subways! It got me thinking about their cause.
Headquartered in San Francisco, California, the Jews for Jesus have embarked upon a summertime campaign (this is all according to their website) to make themselves a visible presence in New York. They will utilize the talents of about 200 missionaries and are organizing direct-marketing efforts to the Orthodox and Reformed populations, even going so far as distributing DVDs in Yiddish to people's homes. As the Js for Js like to say in their mission statement, "We exist to make the messiahship of Jesus an unavoidable issue to our Jewish people worldwide." <---- Bossy! So much for that whole no proselytizing thing! Out the window, it seems. I suppose that the argument can be (and has been) made that Judaism is both a culture and a religion, meaning that it could be possible to be both Jewish and Christian simultaneously- they wouldn't necessarily be mutually exclusive. (Disclaimer: I'm not saying that I necessarily subscribe to any camp in particular in terms of this argument, but one can't ignore the fact that Judaism as an ethnicity would be a relevant topic, especially in Israel where it could affect government monies, property laws, the legality of marriages/divorces, etc. That's all I'm saying.)
But overall, especially in this country, we tend to associate people who define themselves as Jewish as Jews- people in observance of the Jewish faith. Right? I understand that the Jews for Jesus have experienced a widely varied and convoluted spiritual path (probably) to get where they are today, but I still just find the essence of the movement so confusing. Superficially (based entirely on the group moniker), its kind of a giant oxymoron. And I won't even go into how most of the Jews For Jesus people (according to a New York Times article) weren't born in to the Jewish faith at all- they are Christians who are fond of evangelizing with this particular organization.
Regardless of how I feel about this whole thing, one can't argue with numbers. The Jews for Jesus have amassed a large membership. They have T-shirts, books, videos, jewelry, and lots of other goodies available in their online store. Their stuff isn't cheap either, and I'm nothing if not entrepreneurial, so I'd like to announce on this public forum that I have started a few groups of my own. Send me some cash and I'll send you some clothes that will tell all the world of your newfound faith.
Ahem.
Nuns for Satan: Who says you can't be a bride of Christ and the devil's mistress at the same time? As a nun for Satan, you will come to understand that though you have entered in to a committed and loving relationship with the son of god, you may need a little lovin' from Lucifer. Fallen Angels Do It In Church- that's our bumper sticker. Man does not live by bread alone...nor do ladies. Catch my drift?
Celibates for Promiscuity Whoring Around: To really "drive home" how important it is to not have bunches of sex, and to illustrate our commitment to our lifestyle, Celibates for Whoring Around believe in intense nymphomania. Perhaps through observation of our meaningless (yet deeply satisfying) lifestyle, we will gently guide potential boot knockers into our fold. On our website's store, we'll sell condoms. But they will be mostly imaginary and come with some knitting one can do.
Doctors for Christian Science: Healthcare schmealthcare. Who better to know the virtues of praying yourself well than a trained medical professional? As Doctors for Christian Science, we realize the fallacies of modern medicine and are ready to guide you to optimum health through spiritual healing. We sell tic tacs and you pretend they are pills.
Vegetarians for That Big Hot Dog Eating Contest On Coney Island or Whatever: Self-explanatory.
Hey, I'm not calling myself a "guru," or a "prophet," or anything like that. I'm just a girl who is dedicated to (fiscally) enhancing the lives of others (myself) through revamped metanarratives (selling shit online).
That's just my cross to bear.
*Sorry. I actually did end up talking about sex. Big surprise there, eh?
|
|
| 7 Comments: |
-
A. The Nuns for Satan also need to have bumper stickers that say "We take it in the rectory."
B. The "Flirty Fishing" recruitment technique of Australia's Children of God was basically your plan b... You should fellowship with them.
C. The magnificent demonstrations of tantric eating performed by Our Prophet Takero Kobyashi are not a topic to be taken lightly.
-
I know who you are, Anonymous! I also know that you are the flirtiest fisher of them all, Child of God or no!
-
I was actually one of the founding members of two of those groups, Celibates for Whoring around and the Vegetarians for the Hot dog...in my case the Vegetarian group was called BeBs or Beef eating Brahmins. I had to close down the Celibates group when a few of the other founders got a certain social "disease" that stays forever or worse got married.
-
Why can't you be Jewish and believe in the Jewish Messiah?
-
You can, geoff. But it is my understanding that the Jewish people don't reject the idea of a messiah- they are just still waiting for him. Jesus has come and gone, friend.
Furthermore, isn't it against a basic tenet of Judiasm to evangelize at all, let alone stuff pamphlets into people's hands in the subway?
-
so probably next time you are in town you'd like to go to a messianic congregation... since i practically grew up in one, shouldn't be a problem.
-
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
Name: A Lover and a Fighter
Home: New York, NY
About Me: "It is a very sad thing that nowadays there is so little useless information."
-Oscar Wilde
See my profile...
|
|
|
|
|
background by tayler
TackODing font
|
|
A. The Nuns for Satan also need to have bumper stickers that say "We take it in the rectory."
B. The "Flirty Fishing" recruitment technique of Australia's Children of God was basically your plan b... You should fellowship with them.
C. The magnificent demonstrations of tantric eating performed by Our Prophet Takero Kobyashi are not a topic to be taken lightly.